I am writing this brief essay on the last day of January to fulfill a resolution I decided to make this year. Every month in 2026, I intend to release some kind of creative project; whether that be a simple essay like this one, or a song, or a video, or a game, etc. My original plan for the month of January was to release a chess game featuring a delightful new talking dog character, but I am only about 20% done with development there (optimistically) and that will take a bit more time than I initially thought. In lieu of that project, I present this essay to you with my main motivation for taking on this resolution, the inherent contradiction that lies within, and my reasons for accepting that tension.
It is an uncontroversial and rather tired observation that we live in a remarkably consumerist culture. In my daily life as a comfortable, generally materially satisfied office worker, a lot of my time and resources are dedicated to purchasing some experience – getting my hands on some video game, or some TV show, or some exotic food and drink. None of these things are bad, of course, in and of themselves, but when my life is inordinately dedicated to these things, I don’t like myself very much; I become intellectually and spiritually dry. On the other hand, when I am creating art – even if it’s silly, or simple, or pseudointellectual hackery – I become a fuller and more robust person; I like that version of myself more.
Now, you may have noticed a bit of a contradiction here. Because you’re seeing this on my website (and hopefully, in the months to come, many more high-quality projects), I’ve put this out for you to consume. To prevent myself from becoming a consumerist dessicated husk, I’m asking for you to consume my art; I’m passing you the hot potato of spiritual death. I’m not going to beat around the bush, I do want you to consume my art, despite the resentment I feel towards my own consumerism. I only ask that you bear with me as I attempt to defend this glaring hypocrisy.
As an artist, I absolutely desire validation from others – but, I’m also putting this out there as a form of accountability. If I weren’t putting this plan out in public, I don’t think I would ever get anything done, so making this public adds a little bit of extrinsic motivation. Additionally, as mentioned before, it is not intrinsically wrong to consume; I can only hope that my works motivate you to become a more robust human person and perhaps take on your own challenges. I also think that, because we are relational beings, all art has a degree of performance (or should I say performativity) to it – I can’t really make something “just for me;” there’s always going to be a mixture of both attention seeking and genuine desire to entertain and edify others. In the months to come, I want to produce art that is pleasing to you, me, and God.
I look forward to exploring different creative avenues for the next 11 months, and I hope this endeavor is a counter to the staleness of consumerist modernity for both of us. Thank you for indulging my last minute ramblings – I’ll see you in February.